Peggy Leaves Hank
by khuang85
Summary: Peggy has had enough of Hank's neglect and tells him off. Please note that this is meant to be seen as a parallel universe story and not an actual way to end the series.


Peggy Leaves Hank

It was just like any other typical day for Hank Hill. He went to worked and then stopped by the convenience store for some Alamo beer. What he didn't know was that this would not stay typical. Hank got into the truck he loved so much and came home. He walked in and saw some suitcases in the hall but didn't really pay attention. Hank walked into the kitchen and saw Peggy sitting at the table waiting for him.

"Hi honey," he said as he put his beer into the fridge. "You wouldn't believe the great day I had being assistant manager of Strickland Propane!"

"We need to talk," Peggy said quite sternly.

Hank, not paying attention, obliviously replied, "Yep. We can do it later. I'm gonna mow the lawn now. Be back in two hours."

"HANK RUTHERFORD HILL! YOU SIT DOWN AT THIS GOD DANG TABLE RIGHT NOW!" screamed Peggy angrily.

Hank still not putting the clues together sat down happily and said, "I see something is bothering you. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Do I want to talk about it?" Peggy said quite irritably. "Do I want to talk about it?! What do you think?!"

Hank still oblivious but now confused simply replied, "Uh yeah. I can see something is on your mind."

"I am leaving you and Bobby is coming with me," Peggy stated assertively.

Hank laughed and said, "That's a good one Peggy!" Peggy glared at him and it finally hit Hank. "Wait. You're serious?" Peggy nodded her head. "But why?"

"Why? Why? I'll tell you why. First of all I'm not very important to you. In fact I'm literally at the very bottom of the things you love most. Want to know what they are in order from most precious to the 'I can live without it' categories?"

"I guess," Hank said confusedly.

"Propane, football, Alamo beer, Texas, God- which I actually agree with, that state championship game, your lawn, your grill, your house, your dad who literally abused you 'til the day he died, your guitar, your lawn mower, and then it's me! I'm runner up to a stupid lawn mower! A lawn mower! I don't even measure up to the state championship game that you lost because your ankle snapped! I fall out of a plane and break my back and almost die and yet the game that you didn't win was the worst day of your life. Bobby even said you'd sell me before you'd sell that guitar of yours! And God forbid that anyone dis propane or that stupid lawn of yours!"

"Don't ever call it stupid!" Hank said.

Peggy glared at Hank again. "You know that really didn't help you right now, mister," she said sternly.

"I can change," Hank pleaded.

"Doubtful," Peggy scowled. "You've been this way for our entire marriage. You love everything else I mentioned so much more than me that you actually hired a drug addict with absolutely no knowledge of propane over a qualified woman because he used 'Alamo Beer, God, football, and the Dallas Cowboys' in the same sentence. I just did it. Why don't you hire me too?"

"You can't leave me! What would others think?" Hank asked.

"They'd think I made a good choice. I know. I told them my plans of leaving you. Luann, Mihn, and Nancy all said that the marriage died about five years ago, Bobby feels so alienated from you because you never compliment or encourage him unless you get something in return, and Bill said that you don't deserve anyone as wonderful as me. He is your best friend and you don't even encourage him or be there for him as much as you should. And then you got mad for Boomhauer for give Luann a ride that one time and accused him of hitting on her! And don't get me started on your treatment towards Dale!"

"You're not being fair, Peggy," Hank replied.

"Excuse me?!" Peggy asked. "I'm not being fair? How about all the times I had all these great job opportunities and you never supported me and tried to make me quit because it was what you wanted?! And when was the last time you took me out to dinner?"

"Well we went out for your birthday," Hank said. "That was what? Last week?"

"It was eight months ago," snarled Peggy. "And we only have sex three freaking times a year! You never shut up about propane! In fact this is why we have so few friends! You're always introducing yourself as the most important person in the world just because you're 'assistant manager' of Strickland Propane! And when Bobby and I accidentally found out we enjoyed the taste of charcoal burgers, YOU forced us to pray to God for forgiveness! I think God has much more important things to worry about than whether or not someone ate food cooked on a charcoal grill! And you know what? I actuall LIKE the smokey taste charcoal gives food!"

"And you know what I discovered? I never truly was important to you and any love we for each other had died the day Bobby was born," Peggy said bitterly. "You NEVER let me what I want! You think you know it all but you don't know JACK SQUAT! You know NOTHING! Our son was revered by Buddhists that one time and YOU were the only one who had a problem with it! He was HAPPY for once in his life and YOU RUINED IT! You make me sick!" Peggy grabbed the handle of her suitcase and then glared at Hank and said, "I'm staying with Bill until I find an apartment. Don't bother talking to me. Some men will be here Tuesday to get the rest of my belongings. God bye, Hank. I hope that the Dallas Cowboys, the stupid lawn, Alamo Beer, and propane was worth losing your wife of twenty years!"

Peggy then stormed out the door, giving Hank the finger. That same week she learned how much more compatible she was with Bill and they started a genuine relationship and they got married a year later. Hank was not invited to the reception.

Shortly after Peggy divorced him, Hank Hill started to become bald and gained 200 pounds. He became so depressed that it affected his ability at work and he was fired. Hank then suffered in silence and all alone as he saw Bill and Peggy having a wonderful marriage and the two of them ending up having twin boys, Jack and Jason six months after getting married. Bill lost 100 pounds, learned that baldness COULD be very sexy when pulled off correctly, and started to exercise on a regular basis. He is now in the best shape he's ever been in, even better than while he was in high school.

Bobby became the most successful stand up comedian of his generation which he couldn't achieve before without Hank always dragging his son down that Bobby had accepted many TV and movie appearances and took over Late Night from Stephen Cobert, making him the youngest late night talk show host in TV history. Bobby Hill's net worth value from all his success is about $400 K per year. Jason grew up to be a popular Senator who wound up being elected President of the United States and became one of the nation's most beloved leaders. Jason also was well liked and respected by his fellow politicians that he managed to get back some of John Redcorn's people's land and gave it back to them. Jack joined the Army in his father's footsteps and became one of the nation's most decorated General ever.

Peggy went back to school and got her doctorate in Spanish and was offered a full time job as a teacher to middle school students. Hank became a recluse and never left his house except to go get food and beer. He eventually died of a heart attack while watching a old video of himself playing high school football. A can of half eaten beans was found next to him and he had thousands of empty Alamo beer cans on the floor surrounding him while wearing his old high school football uniform which was ripped and too small to fit. Hank Rutherford Hill died a lonely broken man who still thought he was the most important person on the Earth.


End file.
